Jeremiah's School of Levitation
Upsy-Daisy!
Tuesday, March 21, 2006
The Art of Being Asleep
Ambien is this sleeping aid that apparently does a great job of keeping you asleep, if you don't manage to take it with any alcohol, or if you take it and then don't get directly into your bed (though some folks have gone to bed, or thought they did). Then, it becomes the Zombie drug, as evidenced by these incidents from Ambien-takers:
No, what I want to do is lock myself in my room with a ball of clay, my guitar, a microphone, a pen and paper, some crayons, take a little Ambien with a dash of wine, turn on my video camera, and see what happens. So then, when I zombie up and start acting out my dream, I'll be able to capture all those incredible songs that I make up in my dreams, and are totally forgotten when I awaken. Or I can finally render some of my dream art using the crayons, or I could finally write down that world-shattering short story as I dream it, or maybe capture on video that riveting stand-up routine I did in a dream and, once awake, can now only recall the phrase "..and she took my pants with her." Think about it, all my dreams downloaded directly from my head and into the world as real life art.
Of course, there's always the possibility that I'll try to eat the crayons or I may actually use the pen to create a full-body tattoo consisting of all the lyrics of ABBA songs, and that'll be on tape and, well, that'll need to be erased and if it happens too much, I may need to flush the Ambien. But, every now and then, I could post the good stuff for everyone's entertainment and possibly as a great advertisement for the "fun" side of sleep medication.
Yeah, so, you know, I have been having a hard time sleeping, and, I also will need an idea for Friday's post. Looks like a good a time as any to go to Mexico and stock up. My creative future may depend on it. Or, at least I may find a new erotic thing to do with a hunk of clay, which alone would be worth the price.
- Ambien-influenced drivers are crashing into stuff all over the nation, "sleep-driving" as it's called. According to an article in the Detroit News: "Wisconsin officials identified Ambien in the bloodstreams of 187 arrested drivers from 1999 to 2004. In Washington state, officials counted 78 impaired-driving arrests in which Ambien was a factor last year, up from 56 in 2004."
- Taking Ambien with alcohol has caused two incidents of bizarre airplane behavior. One guy ripped off his shirt and Hulked out on a British Airways plane and, the one and only Peter Buck of REM had a similar outburst on a plane. Both guys claimed Ambien-related insanity or, convolutingly enough, "non-insane automatism" as it's officially called.
- Ambien causes bouts of "night eating," and, as the International Herald Tribune states: "The next morning, the night eaters remember nothing about their foraging. But they wake up to find telltale clues: mouthfuls of peanut butter, Tostitos in their beds, kitchen counters overflowing with flour, missing food, and even lighted ovens and stoves. Some are so embarrassed, they delay telling anyone, even as they gain weight." (Waking up with a mouthful of something is also a college stunt that I have never performed on a sleeping friend, especially not using shaving cream).
No, what I want to do is lock myself in my room with a ball of clay, my guitar, a microphone, a pen and paper, some crayons, take a little Ambien with a dash of wine, turn on my video camera, and see what happens. So then, when I zombie up and start acting out my dream, I'll be able to capture all those incredible songs that I make up in my dreams, and are totally forgotten when I awaken. Or I can finally render some of my dream art using the crayons, or I could finally write down that world-shattering short story as I dream it, or maybe capture on video that riveting stand-up routine I did in a dream and, once awake, can now only recall the phrase "..and she took my pants with her." Think about it, all my dreams downloaded directly from my head and into the world as real life art.
Of course, there's always the possibility that I'll try to eat the crayons or I may actually use the pen to create a full-body tattoo consisting of all the lyrics of ABBA songs, and that'll be on tape and, well, that'll need to be erased and if it happens too much, I may need to flush the Ambien. But, every now and then, I could post the good stuff for everyone's entertainment and possibly as a great advertisement for the "fun" side of sleep medication.
Yeah, so, you know, I have been having a hard time sleeping, and, I also will need an idea for Friday's post. Looks like a good a time as any to go to Mexico and stock up. My creative future may depend on it. Or, at least I may find a new erotic thing to do with a hunk of clay, which alone would be worth the price.
Elliot, 9:33 AM
2 Back at me:
I think you've just stumbled across the next great Reality Show...Ambien Addicts. One week of ambien and scotch, and whoever doesn't die of sleep deprivation psychosis first, wins.
I have some Ambien that I use very very rarely. I got a script for it when I was in the final months before defending my dissertation.
I LOVE Ambien. I know that I don't want to get addicted to anything (else) so I only use it when I'm in a sleep-less bout for a week or so.
It sprials me down into six hours of perfection. I love love love it. I've never found chips in my bed or peanut butter in my mouth, but I have had reports of snoring-like-a-champ when I've taken this pill.
Maybe I'll record myself next time I take it.
Thank you for the blog!
I LOVE Ambien. I know that I don't want to get addicted to anything (else) so I only use it when I'm in a sleep-less bout for a week or so.
It sprials me down into six hours of perfection. I love love love it. I've never found chips in my bed or peanut butter in my mouth, but I have had reports of snoring-like-a-champ when I've taken this pill.
Maybe I'll record myself next time I take it.
Thank you for the blog!
