Jeremiah's School of Levitation

I only wrote the below as an ode (I'm using that word too much--must...get...to...thesaurus) to my many friends who valiantly "share the road." I actually usually stick to the trails because, frankly, I'm scared of cars. But, really, I love all bikers, even though I do wonder what's up with the Lance Armstrong get ups. I've seen some folks so decked out that it looked like they were headed directly for the Tour or that Office Depot actually sponsors them to go riding around town. The perfect uniforms actually inspire me to get in uniform myself for my next trip to the gym to lift weights. Yeah. Slip my speedo on (oh no, bad image), grease up my body (yikes, another bad image!), and shove a shoe horn in my jaw so that it will stay set just so.