Jeremiah's School of Levitation
Upsy-Daisy!
Wednesday, April 19, 2006
If I Had A Blog When I Was 9
This is likely what a post in my blog would have looked like when I was 9 years old, if there was such a thing as a blog when I was 9 years old (I used to write a lot when I was 9--I would have loved having a blog). My blog, by the way would have been called "Go Dallas Cowboys!" because I loved the Cowboys (still do!).
Bye Bye Starsky
Today, my hamster Starsky finally died. He had the wet tail disease. The wet tail disease makes hamsters real sick and, when it gets real bad, they can't stand up anymore. They just lay there, and their legs turn blue. I took Starsky to the vet and the vet looked at my mom kind of strange and he looked at me and changed his look and said we'll give him something. He gave me some white stuff that looked like a milk shake. It was in a little bottle with one of those eye dropper things on it. He said to give Starsky two drops a day. I said will this help him with the wet tail disease? And, the vet looked at my mom strange again and he looked at me, but this time his face stayed strange.
No, he said, this is just for his tummy, to make him feel better. But, the wet tail disease can't be cured. Is he going to die, I asked. The vet said probably. I just said okay. I had read about hamsters and that they don't live for long, and maybe it was just time for Starsky to go.
So, I took him home and put him in a little shopping bag, away from Hutch, my other hamster. I put the shopping bag on the fireplace. For three days I fed Starsky the white stuff. He stayed alive, laying on his stomach the whole time, and twitching his nose when I looked at him. But, today, when I woke up, he was dead.
I called my friend Mike and I said that we had to have a funeral for Starsky. Mike came over and by that time, I had put Starsky in a matchbox. I said that we had to take him to the backyard to bury him on the hill. Mike said okay and started to run out there. I said, no wait, Mike. We have to carry him like in a real funeral. And, we had to be sad. He said okay. So, we both held the matchbox together and we walked real slow to the backyard. We both acted very sad. We got almost halfway to the hill and then Mike said, can I see Starsky? I said okay. We opened up the matchbox and there was Starsky, still dead. Mike looked at him, then he looked at me and then he did a very Mike thing.
He laughed. He laughed and laughed. He laughed so hard that he made me laugh. And we both laughed. But, it was not one of those funny laughs. It was like we were happy.
After we got done laughing, we didn't walk so slow and we didn't act sad at all. We buried Starsky up on the hill and we made a cross out of twigs and twist ties and we put it on his grave. We both thought of a prayer to say and we pat the grave and said bye bye Starsky.
Then, we ran back to the house and played with Hutch. Mike liked to do the Hamster Express, which was just putting Hutch on a plate and holding it as we zoomed him around the house to visit new rooms and play on the Giant Hamster Piano, which was my dad's piano and to go visit the Giant TV Screen, which was the TV screen.
We told Hutch what happened to Starsky. Hutch twitched his nose like he was going to cry. We told Hutch to be happy because we were.
See you everybody. Go Dallas Cowboys!!!!!!
Bye Bye Starsky
Today, my hamster Starsky finally died. He had the wet tail disease. The wet tail disease makes hamsters real sick and, when it gets real bad, they can't stand up anymore. They just lay there, and their legs turn blue. I took Starsky to the vet and the vet looked at my mom kind of strange and he looked at me and changed his look and said we'll give him something. He gave me some white stuff that looked like a milk shake. It was in a little bottle with one of those eye dropper things on it. He said to give Starsky two drops a day. I said will this help him with the wet tail disease? And, the vet looked at my mom strange again and he looked at me, but this time his face stayed strange.
No, he said, this is just for his tummy, to make him feel better. But, the wet tail disease can't be cured. Is he going to die, I asked. The vet said probably. I just said okay. I had read about hamsters and that they don't live for long, and maybe it was just time for Starsky to go.
So, I took him home and put him in a little shopping bag, away from Hutch, my other hamster. I put the shopping bag on the fireplace. For three days I fed Starsky the white stuff. He stayed alive, laying on his stomach the whole time, and twitching his nose when I looked at him. But, today, when I woke up, he was dead.
I called my friend Mike and I said that we had to have a funeral for Starsky. Mike came over and by that time, I had put Starsky in a matchbox. I said that we had to take him to the backyard to bury him on the hill. Mike said okay and started to run out there. I said, no wait, Mike. We have to carry him like in a real funeral. And, we had to be sad. He said okay. So, we both held the matchbox together and we walked real slow to the backyard. We both acted very sad. We got almost halfway to the hill and then Mike said, can I see Starsky? I said okay. We opened up the matchbox and there was Starsky, still dead. Mike looked at him, then he looked at me and then he did a very Mike thing.
He laughed. He laughed and laughed. He laughed so hard that he made me laugh. And we both laughed. But, it was not one of those funny laughs. It was like we were happy.
After we got done laughing, we didn't walk so slow and we didn't act sad at all. We buried Starsky up on the hill and we made a cross out of twigs and twist ties and we put it on his grave. We both thought of a prayer to say and we pat the grave and said bye bye Starsky.
Then, we ran back to the house and played with Hutch. Mike liked to do the Hamster Express, which was just putting Hutch on a plate and holding it as we zoomed him around the house to visit new rooms and play on the Giant Hamster Piano, which was my dad's piano and to go visit the Giant TV Screen, which was the TV screen.
We told Hutch what happened to Starsky. Hutch twitched his nose like he was going to cry. We told Hutch to be happy because we were.
See you everybody. Go Dallas Cowboys!!!!!!
Elliot, 10:47 AM
2 Back at me:
Please tell me Starsky and Hutch had a really cool cage shaped like a red car! And a mouse friend named Huggy Bear!
I wish people could have such memorable funerals. But they don't make matchboxes big enough.
I wish people could have such memorable funerals. But they don't make matchboxes big enough.
Naw. My ability to stretch a joke was still in its relative infancy. The fact that I thought to name them after pop icons because one hamster had darker hair than the other hamster represented the peak of my cleverness.
