Jeremiah's School of Levitation

I was driving around today and, within two blocks, encountered two homemade signs that made my day (weird). One sign was an advertisement for a yard sale. First there was the address of the sale, and then, on the next line, the fetching phrase "Nothing Sucks." I made a mental note that, even if something did end up sucking at that sale, I was going to be there to see it suck for myself. I'd even buy something just because of the show, like you toss a dollar in the street performer's violin case. As an aside, I've always secretly wished that some usually very sober retail establishment, like Sears or Target, would curse in their ads. I'd love to see Target's Sunday ad say "Best Damn Back to School Sale In Town!" or have Sears tell me "Get Your Ass Over to Sears Right Now if You Want In On This Sale!"

The other sign came a block later, just as I was still grinning from the last one. This one was another drunkenly-scrawled sign in front of a used car dealership. It read: "We Buy Cash For Cars." Speaking of sucking, as I attempted to interpret that sign, there suddenly came a huge sucking sound as all the foundations for logic in my brain just simply imploded. I'm still having trouble with those words. Tell you what, I'm going to go have another martini and see if it all comes clear...

Years ago, there was some local politician wanna-be whose slogan was "No worse than the rest". I think I voted for him....

I second your motion on Target and Sears..."Come to our jeans sale...we make your ass look GOOOOOD." I'd totally be there.

You gotta pick up a copy of Eats, Shoots and Leaves! It will make clear the motivation behind such statements as "We Buy Cash For Cars."

Oh my goodness, you made me laugh!

I love impromptu signs. Someone on our street had a party this weekend, and there was this sign at the top of their driveway: "PARTY HERE Only if you were invited".

I wanted to show up with an empty glass and a party hat.

I vote for Sears, "Get yer ass over here". But for all truth in advertising, their vacuums do indeed suck. Of course, their leaf blowers then technically blow. How is it Sears can suck and blow at the same time. Talk about diversity..or perversity, depending on your street education.

So what kind of dim bulb would write "cars for cash"? How close was it to the road? Blame it on the car fumes, who knows, but perhaps they should take that cash to the nearest community college.

Word Verification: "GSWUUFO"
Alien armed with an SKS cannot be a good thing.

These are priceless! My favorite homemade sign was hanging in a local butcher shop in Seattle. It read: Meat is Love. What more could be said than that?

What the signs said is pretty funny. The fact they made your day is even funnier. That you pondered deeply enough to blog about them certainly makes me chuckle. And the fact that we are all here commenting on your experience with the signs is really rather comical, wouldn't you say?!