Jeremiah's School of Levitation
Upsy-Daisy!
Thursday, October 19, 2006
Kids These Days
I went to a kids birthday party the other night and, among other things, I met a lady who, I believe, could use the power of her conversational energy to lift off the shuttle. She talked about everything. Everything reminded her of something. And, as the kids' voices reached jet engine decibel levels, she kept right on talking, her words shredding in the air in front of her. I kept up with her for about 10 minutes when I suddenly realized I'd literally challenged Shaquille O'Neal to a one-on-one, and that I was not only bound to lose, but I might need to be carried out of there. Houses, schools, her husband's profession, houses, sororoties, kids, houses, remodeling, the athletic talents of kids, something about "suiciding" and something about "naming neighborhoods." Whew!
Now, let me say that she was a charming lady, intelligent, and quite good-looking and when I could get a word in, she did listen, so it wasn't anywhere near absolute hell talking to her. But, there needs to be some down time in conversation, time to think about what there is to actually contribute, and, also, one needs to not feel like one is throwing a brick wall in front of someone's full-momentum story just to say "Um, I need to go to the bathroom." However, I didn't know how to break away from her to give my ears and brain some rest. If I started to back away, she'd follow me. If I looked away, she spoke louder, or tapped me. I wondered if I just bolted out of the door, would she dive at my feet and tackle me?
Anyway, the down time came when the party MC asked all the kids, as they ate (oh, no) pizza, to each tell a CLEAN joke. Now, I know that kids are inherently funny, but I didn't realize that they actually had jokes sitting around in their heads, just waiting to come out if you ask them. I was very impressed with some of the jokes and, frankly, I realized that I couldn't even think of a clean one of my own, meaning that the squeaky kid in me has gone and now, the only joke I can think of involves a monkey, a bar, a cue ball, and a part of its anatomy. So, anyway, here's to kids and their clean funny jokes. I repeat some of them here:
How do you get a tissue to dance?
You put a little boogie in it!
Knock knock.
Who's there?
A cow goes.
A cow goes who?
You silly. A cow goes "moo"!
Why did the baseball players start spinning around?
To get ready for the whirl series!
and, my favorite:
A lady walks into a pet store and says to the pet store guy: "I would like a puppy for my daughter."
The pet store guy frowns and says, "Lady, we don't do trade-ins."
Now, let me say that she was a charming lady, intelligent, and quite good-looking and when I could get a word in, she did listen, so it wasn't anywhere near absolute hell talking to her. But, there needs to be some down time in conversation, time to think about what there is to actually contribute, and, also, one needs to not feel like one is throwing a brick wall in front of someone's full-momentum story just to say "Um, I need to go to the bathroom." However, I didn't know how to break away from her to give my ears and brain some rest. If I started to back away, she'd follow me. If I looked away, she spoke louder, or tapped me. I wondered if I just bolted out of the door, would she dive at my feet and tackle me?
Anyway, the down time came when the party MC asked all the kids, as they ate (oh, no) pizza, to each tell a CLEAN joke. Now, I know that kids are inherently funny, but I didn't realize that they actually had jokes sitting around in their heads, just waiting to come out if you ask them. I was very impressed with some of the jokes and, frankly, I realized that I couldn't even think of a clean one of my own, meaning that the squeaky kid in me has gone and now, the only joke I can think of involves a monkey, a bar, a cue ball, and a part of its anatomy. So, anyway, here's to kids and their clean funny jokes. I repeat some of them here:
How do you get a tissue to dance?
You put a little boogie in it!
Knock knock.
Who's there?
A cow goes.
A cow goes who?
You silly. A cow goes "moo"!
Why did the baseball players start spinning around?
To get ready for the whirl series!
and, my favorite:
A lady walks into a pet store and says to the pet store guy: "I would like a puppy for my daughter."
The pet store guy frowns and says, "Lady, we don't do trade-ins."
Elliot, 10:19 AM
6 Back at me:
I know a couple of people like that. It's like, "um, are you capable of not talking for like, ONE SECOND!?"
Tee hee!
I like the puppy joke.
Tee hee!
I like the puppy joke.
"her words shredding in the air in front of her"
How picturesque. I love your wordage. There is always something amazing in each post.
That reminds me of those cell phone commericals where the Dads are strapped in chairs watching their teenage daughters or wives talk and talk and talk...crack me up.
The jokes are precious, especially the last one. Kid brains, mysterious and full of wonder.
How picturesque. I love your wordage. There is always something amazing in each post.
That reminds me of those cell phone commericals where the Dads are strapped in chairs watching their teenage daughters or wives talk and talk and talk...crack me up.
The jokes are precious, especially the last one. Kid brains, mysterious and full of wonder.
Often, the beauty is in the listening. But then again, you have to be comfortable with your own silence to do that.
Love the jokes.
Love the jokes.
The saying at our house is "she talked me into a coma" or "are my ears bleeding?"
This made me smile.
This made me smile.
Oooohh...this gave me a good litle chuckle!
Yep, I do believe that kids do always have a joke or two at the ready.
Yep, I do believe that kids do always have a joke or two at the ready.
Mcbunni: Must...keep...talking!
Maggie: Kid's voices do shred words because their voices are sharp!
Sarah: Oh, I love to listen. But, after a while, I want something to be said!
Meno: I actually did go comatose. I hope I didn't drool.
Sus: Humor! I busted a rib on those suggestions. I'd honestly try the "I play for keeps" one but I'd end up laughing.
Lucia: I'm actually going to start asking kids to tell me jokes more often so I can build up my arsenal of clean jokes again, kind of a way to reclaim my innocence (that's assuming that my innocence is somehow intact).
Maggie: Kid's voices do shred words because their voices are sharp!
Sarah: Oh, I love to listen. But, after a while, I want something to be said!
Meno: I actually did go comatose. I hope I didn't drool.
Sus: Humor! I busted a rib on those suggestions. I'd honestly try the "I play for keeps" one but I'd end up laughing.
Lucia: I'm actually going to start asking kids to tell me jokes more often so I can build up my arsenal of clean jokes again, kind of a way to reclaim my innocence (that's assuming that my innocence is somehow intact).
