Jeremiah's School of Levitation
Upsy-Daisy!
Monday, November 06, 2006
Mind in the Toilet
My insane-o-meter tripped at about 2:39 (or so) in the AM this morning, and it woke me up with an idea that, frankly, proves once again why I call it the insane-o-meter.
One second before, I was dreaming about some game involving shoeboxes and personal possessions that we were all scrambling to collect and I was having a strange conversation with a tall girl. The next second, I was wide awake, rain hitting my roof like pebbles, and I was thinking of toilets.
Of course, at that time of the morning, it isn't unusual to think of toilets since, well, I'm sure there are toilets that get some action around 2:39 AM or so. But, that wasn't the direction of my thoughts. No, actually, I was thinking about more than one toilet. I was thinking about the WORLD'S toilets.
I was thinking that it would be a great idea to write a travel book about what different toilets were like around the world, both public and private, and the how the history of sanitation in that particular country led to the current state of the facilities there. I wanted to explore ancient means of "disposal" and look at the most innovative, as well as the least, and tie it all in to a short, overall social/political history of personal privacy in the country or place that I visit. I want to explore toilets in the Philipines, or in Thailand, in rural areas of East Europe, in the expanses of Alaska, in Africa, and, of course, of the rich and famous.
I want to call it: "When You Gotta Go."
I lay in bed, mentally trying to write the introduction, and after about an hour, I was officially insane. I could feel sweat beading up around my neck, my stomach went sour, and I kept visualizing sewer systems rushing past, effluvia tumbling through them, and me with my notebook, scribbling descriptions. My insane-o-meter went into the red, and did a buzz that meant, if I kept following this thought process, I will not get back to sleep ever again.
I finally had to just get up, go downstairs and pace for a while. I drank some milk, futzed with my iPod, went outside and looked at the rain (gutter, there's a gutter--flowing, stuff flowing, bubbling gurgling....aaaaah!) and I came back in and went back to my bed and finally went to sleep, because I still needed to finish talking to the tall girl. And, no, I didn't tell her anything about the crazy thoughts I was having in my waking life. Thank God for the deliverance of abstract dreams.
One second before, I was dreaming about some game involving shoeboxes and personal possessions that we were all scrambling to collect and I was having a strange conversation with a tall girl. The next second, I was wide awake, rain hitting my roof like pebbles, and I was thinking of toilets.
Of course, at that time of the morning, it isn't unusual to think of toilets since, well, I'm sure there are toilets that get some action around 2:39 AM or so. But, that wasn't the direction of my thoughts. No, actually, I was thinking about more than one toilet. I was thinking about the WORLD'S toilets.
I was thinking that it would be a great idea to write a travel book about what different toilets were like around the world, both public and private, and the how the history of sanitation in that particular country led to the current state of the facilities there. I wanted to explore ancient means of "disposal" and look at the most innovative, as well as the least, and tie it all in to a short, overall social/political history of personal privacy in the country or place that I visit. I want to explore toilets in the Philipines, or in Thailand, in rural areas of East Europe, in the expanses of Alaska, in Africa, and, of course, of the rich and famous.
I want to call it: "When You Gotta Go."
I lay in bed, mentally trying to write the introduction, and after about an hour, I was officially insane. I could feel sweat beading up around my neck, my stomach went sour, and I kept visualizing sewer systems rushing past, effluvia tumbling through them, and me with my notebook, scribbling descriptions. My insane-o-meter went into the red, and did a buzz that meant, if I kept following this thought process, I will not get back to sleep ever again.
I finally had to just get up, go downstairs and pace for a while. I drank some milk, futzed with my iPod, went outside and looked at the rain (gutter, there's a gutter--flowing, stuff flowing, bubbling gurgling....aaaaah!) and I came back in and went back to my bed and finally went to sleep, because I still needed to finish talking to the tall girl. And, no, I didn't tell her anything about the crazy thoughts I was having in my waking life. Thank God for the deliverance of abstract dreams.
Elliot, 9:13 AM
7 Back at me:
I did notice that you stopped talking to me rather abruptly in the dream. :)
You gotta love the things that swirl (in your case literally) through your mind in the wee hours.
You gotta love the things that swirl (in your case literally) through your mind in the wee hours.
google 'iraqi toilets'. My hubby showed these to me online about a week ago...wow, I've been missing out.
Notice the one of Darth Vader on the first page. Could you imagine his angst minutes earlier trying to get that thing off? I hate it when the cape drags in the water!!!
rain is GOOOD.
Notice the one of Darth Vader on the first page. Could you imagine his angst minutes earlier trying to get that thing off? I hate it when the cape drags in the water!!!
rain is GOOOD.
Oooh...I used some concrete rectangular holes in bathrooms on my last trip...and they were small, so required aim. (OK, so you probably didn't want all that information.)
You're deeply nuts.
I love it - "When You Gotta Go."!
I think you missed your calling taking up with the Big Giant Software Giant. Your true calling is creative writing.
Truly.
I love it - "When You Gotta Go."!
I think you missed your calling taking up with the Big Giant Software Giant. Your true calling is creative writing.
Truly.
Only you could make toilets sound interesting enough to write a book about it, or for that matter to read the book. Which I would now do, if you wrote it.
Meno: Oh, that was you. It was a pleasure talking with you, but, I need my giant Venusian butterfly and polka dot supa-spoon back now. And, "wee" hours. Good!
Emmas: Aack! And, you try this.
Lucia: Ready, aim, miss!
TG: I'm going to try to mix the two until the glass balls shatter.
Maggie: I've got one attendee at my book signing! Well, two. Mom will be there. Wait, not if the book is about toilets...okay, back to one.
Emmas: Aack! And, you try this.
Lucia: Ready, aim, miss!
TG: I'm going to try to mix the two until the glass balls shatter.
Maggie: I've got one attendee at my book signing! Well, two. Mom will be there. Wait, not if the book is about toilets...okay, back to one.
Misty: The write-off (no, I will resist saying "wipe-off", I will) is probably the most attractive thing about it.
Annie: Whenever I mull over toilets, it never distresses me because everything always comes out alright (another pun!). Thanks for coming by. I'll go to your 'hood and see what's up over there.
Zie: I think "I'm for Enjoyable Bowel Movements" will make a great bumper sticker. I'll have my people get with your people on the royalties...
Annie: Whenever I mull over toilets, it never distresses me because everything always comes out alright (another pun!). Thanks for coming by. I'll go to your 'hood and see what's up over there.
Zie: I think "I'm for Enjoyable Bowel Movements" will make a great bumper sticker. I'll have my people get with your people on the royalties...
