Jeremiah's School of Levitation
Upsy-Daisy!
Sunday, January 28, 2007
Wild Pitch
Here it is Sunday and I'm just now getting to the Friday word, which was "pitch."
Well, actually, I'm always just a few brain-cell bursts short of that word, at least when it means "to shovel an idea into someones head and then get out before they smack you." In my scribbling meanderings, I often jot down ideas for bad Hollywood movies starring Carrot Top or Pauly Shore, in the hope that someday, when I'm really bored, or bedridden, I'll down two martinis and then I'll develop one of the ideas into a treatment and then go to LA, drink a few more martinis, and then go pitch it to stone-faced studio people. Of course, I'm sure that after the first two martinis, I'd realize I'm too old for this and that, really, if I was going to be famous then I already would be famous and I wouldn't need a blog because you could read about me in People. So, in light of that, I'd just pitch the whole idea and order another round (how 'bout that? I used the phrase "pitch an idea" and made it mean two different things? As Mona said, this word is amazingly versatile).
So, this week, as a service (or disservice, you may think later), I'll dump a few of my ideas for anyone young enough, or bored enough, to take one of these and run to LA with it and pitch with wild abandon. Just don't forget to mention me on Oprah, or at least get the next round.
A straight-laced female cop against a crafty criminal who falls in love with her.
Epic battle of dog vs. cat carried out by alien races of dogs and cats reborn on Earth.
Murdered man reincarnated as a bird goes after the guy who killed him.
A fierce liberal and hardcore conservative meet in a survival situation.
A scholar ends up tutoring a hillbilly singer.
A dictator on the run ends up with small-town evangelical priest.
A master illusionist gets a job as a dance instructor for little girls.
A time traveler has to deal with a caveman stowaway as they both travel through time.
A rap star becomes a celebrated lounge singer.
A construction worker wants to become a fashion designer.
A diet fanatic wants to become a world champion professional eater.
A dog catcher, who wants dogs off the street, wants to create a city of dogs.
A typical, straight-laced CEO wants to be a punk singer.
Well, actually, I'm always just a few brain-cell bursts short of that word, at least when it means "to shovel an idea into someones head and then get out before they smack you." In my scribbling meanderings, I often jot down ideas for bad Hollywood movies starring Carrot Top or Pauly Shore, in the hope that someday, when I'm really bored, or bedridden, I'll down two martinis and then I'll develop one of the ideas into a treatment and then go to LA, drink a few more martinis, and then go pitch it to stone-faced studio people. Of course, I'm sure that after the first two martinis, I'd realize I'm too old for this and that, really, if I was going to be famous then I already would be famous and I wouldn't need a blog because you could read about me in People. So, in light of that, I'd just pitch the whole idea and order another round (how 'bout that? I used the phrase "pitch an idea" and made it mean two different things? As Mona said, this word is amazingly versatile).
So, this week, as a service (or disservice, you may think later), I'll dump a few of my ideas for anyone young enough, or bored enough, to take one of these and run to LA with it and pitch with wild abandon. Just don't forget to mention me on Oprah, or at least get the next round.
A straight-laced female cop against a crafty criminal who falls in love with her.
Epic battle of dog vs. cat carried out by alien races of dogs and cats reborn on Earth.
Murdered man reincarnated as a bird goes after the guy who killed him.
A fierce liberal and hardcore conservative meet in a survival situation.
A scholar ends up tutoring a hillbilly singer.
A dictator on the run ends up with small-town evangelical priest.
A master illusionist gets a job as a dance instructor for little girls.
A time traveler has to deal with a caveman stowaway as they both travel through time.
A rap star becomes a celebrated lounge singer.
A construction worker wants to become a fashion designer.
A diet fanatic wants to become a world champion professional eater.
A dog catcher, who wants dogs off the street, wants to create a city of dogs.
A typical, straight-laced CEO wants to be a punk singer.
Elliot, 7:53 AM
6 Back at me:
Does the bird guy peck out the murderer'e eyes?
Or just mess up his head?
Or just mess up his head?
I like the dictator and priest...
Stalin and Me... :)))
Stalin and Me... :)))
See, this just reinforced the fact that I have not been watching movies for the last few years. I really wish we had Netflix up here...
You belong in Hollywood. Or should that be you belonged?
You belong in Hollywood. Or should that be you belonged?
A straight-laced female cop against a crafty criminal who falls in love with her.
-Didn't Lindsay Wagner already do this?
Epic battle of dog vs. cat carried out by alien races of dogs and cats reborn on Earth.
-Done in the 70's, I'm sure. The "Cat From Outter Space" ring any bells with you?
Murdered man reincarnated as a bird goes after the guy who killed him.
-Again, I think Disney had it first... but it was a girl and a well and I can't remember the name of the film, but be cautious with the rights over this one.
A fierce liberal and hardcore conservative meet in a survival situation.
-As seen in any Canadian political race.
A scholar ends up tutoring a hillbilly singer.
-Anthony Hopkins in "The Edge", wasn't it?
A dictator on the run ends up with small-town evangelical priest.
-Give me a minute...
A master illusionist gets a job as a dance instructor for little girls.
-Did you ever watch Columbo?
A time traveler has to deal with a caveman stowaway as they both travel through time.
-The show was called Voyagers. It stared Jon-Erik Hexum and Meeno Peluce as Phieas Bogg and Jeffrey Jones.
A rap star becomes a celebrated lounge singer.
-So THAT's what happened to Barry Manilow!
A construction worker wants to become a fashion designer.
-Desinging women? I never even watched the show!
A diet fanatic wants to become a world champion professional eater.
-Suzanne Sommers meets ???
A dog catcher, who wants dogs off the street, wants to create a city of dogs.
-I thought I had all of these figured out. You got me, man... that must be an original idea!
A typical, straight-laced CEO wants to be a punk singer.
-My friend Mike.
-Didn't Lindsay Wagner already do this?
Epic battle of dog vs. cat carried out by alien races of dogs and cats reborn on Earth.
-Done in the 70's, I'm sure. The "Cat From Outter Space" ring any bells with you?
Murdered man reincarnated as a bird goes after the guy who killed him.
-Again, I think Disney had it first... but it was a girl and a well and I can't remember the name of the film, but be cautious with the rights over this one.
A fierce liberal and hardcore conservative meet in a survival situation.
-As seen in any Canadian political race.
A scholar ends up tutoring a hillbilly singer.
-Anthony Hopkins in "The Edge", wasn't it?
A dictator on the run ends up with small-town evangelical priest.
-Give me a minute...
A master illusionist gets a job as a dance instructor for little girls.
-Did you ever watch Columbo?
A time traveler has to deal with a caveman stowaway as they both travel through time.
-The show was called Voyagers. It stared Jon-Erik Hexum and Meeno Peluce as Phieas Bogg and Jeffrey Jones.
A rap star becomes a celebrated lounge singer.
-So THAT's what happened to Barry Manilow!
A construction worker wants to become a fashion designer.
-Desinging women? I never even watched the show!
A diet fanatic wants to become a world champion professional eater.
-Suzanne Sommers meets ???
A dog catcher, who wants dogs off the street, wants to create a city of dogs.
-I thought I had all of these figured out. You got me, man... that must be an original idea!
A typical, straight-laced CEO wants to be a punk singer.
-My friend Mike.
AGH...comment lost.
Sometime I'd like to look inside that brain of yours...it must be an amazing place!
Sometime I'd like to look inside that brain of yours...it must be an amazing place!
Meno: He did all that, and then flew up his pants leg.
Ipod: Funny! That would be the darkest comedy ever made.
Maggie: I would have liked a shot at Hollywood, if for no other reason than to make sure that Denise Richards starred in all my films. Nice photo, by the way!
Baoo: The doctor is in.
TG: Note to self: Don't play Trivial Pursuit with TG. I must not watch enough TV! And, for the record, if Hollywood ever adopted the policy of "don't do what's been done before," then, we'd probably have at least 1/2 fewer movies to go to!
5:56 AM
Ipod: Funny! That would be the darkest comedy ever made.
Maggie: I would have liked a shot at Hollywood, if for no other reason than to make sure that Denise Richards starred in all my films. Nice photo, by the way!
Baoo: The doctor is in.
TG: Note to self: Don't play Trivial Pursuit with TG. I must not watch enough TV! And, for the record, if Hollywood ever adopted the policy of "don't do what's been done before," then, we'd probably have at least 1/2 fewer movies to go to!
5:56 AM
