Jeremiah's School of Levitation

(Keep quiet in here! Someone might hear you! Look at this place. Dusty, full of cobwebs, echoing voices, tattered intentions and wispy grandeur.)

(SHHH! Don't knock over that post! Someone commented on it! They might be watching! Careful. )

(Just. Try. To. Get. To. The. Bar. Yeah. Right there.)

(Yes, he drank a plenty martinis. SHHH! Stop laughing.)

(What happened to him? Nothing, fool. He's still here. He's just, well, BUSY.)

(Well, I don't know what he's doing. Jeremiah never talks to me. He just, I don't know, nods and dips into the shadows. The shadows smell funny. I ain't going after him in there.)

(Yeah. Levitation. Yeah, right. You know what? I think he's doing just the opposite. Here. Here's a photo of what his life is really like…)

(See? Get it? He could USE some levitation about now. The kid's got problems. Now, get his gin and let's get out of here before someone comments! You don't want Mona on your butt.)

(Sure, he'll get right. Look at that helmet! How can anyone go wrong with that helmet?)

(What? Man, be QUIET! Now, what? A post? You want him to post? Then what, post again tomorrow, and then the next day? What is he, a machine? You want him to say something about that co-worker who found out that his iPod had 5,433 songs on it and subsequently said 'How do you know what to listen to?' I mean, what kind of question is that? Do you ask a person with an extensive book collection 'How do you know what to read?' Or, do you ask someone with 30 pairs of socks 'How do you know which pair to wear?' Or, maybe you want him to mention that he is so freaking busy that if he was any busier then he'd be a tropical storm?)

(Whatever. Let's get out of here. Dusty blogs are creepy.)

(And, yeah, sure, I'll admit it. If I ever became a transvestite, I'd name myself "Dusty Blogs". Now, come on, before the Ba-dozer gets here. You wanna whoopin'? Didn't think so…)

(SHHHHHH!!!)